I've finally done it. I've started a blog of my very own.
I had been thinking about it for some time, but I was hesitant because I didn't want to be "trendy." I suppose that shouldn't even be a concern at the moment, considering no one knows I've started this, not even Josh. And then I decided against it because I already have a blog on MySpace; but the format isn't to my liking, and I never feel free to completely say what I really have in mind, which is ridiculous since the both the blog and the words are my own. I was afraid, I guess, to be all of myself. And here, I can be. Or, at least, I will try harder to be. Especially since no one knows I'm here.
I came to the conclusion to start this blog during class last night, somewhere between High Modernism and "Howl," because it occurred to me that once I graduate and find a job, I might never take the time to put thought into words. Not that I will stop journaling, but that is even more private than a blog no one knows about, and it does not have certain allowances that this format will provide. Once I'm out of school, I won't be forced to write anymore. Which means no more lit analyses, thankfully. But it also means no forced concentration on words. And I don't want to stop writing. I want to remember why it used to be the one thing I felt I could do well. I don't have the heart for school anymore, but I don't want to lose my heart for words, for writing, for expression. I have to keep them.
Here's to hoping this will help, even if everything I ever write on here is silly, inane, or otherwise garbage. At least it will be something.
