Nearly three years ago I started a list of things I wanted to do in my life. Here it is, in review, with additional commentary. Those bolded have been accomplished, if not in whole, at least in part.
1. Run in Race for the Cure.
I wanted to do this for Becky and my aunt Sandy. This, I believe, will be accomplished when Josh and I move back to the Peoria area, as his mother participates. (I cannot say whether I will walk or run--I suppose participating at all is the important thing.)
2. Learn another language fluently.
The language I had in mind was Russian (see #3), and while I'd still like to learn it, learning Spanish is my desire now.
3. Go back to Ulyanovsk.
I have no idea how or when or even if this will be accomplished. But I do believe that if it is God's desire, He will make a way for me just like He did the first time.
4. Write a novel, published or not.
This may have been a bit overzealous. My goal at the moment is to write a short story and see how that goes. I am not overly optimistic at this point :)
5. Write something that is published.
If you count the web-zine that was created as part of my creative non-fiction grad class, this has been accomplished. Technically, I don't, so this is still a goal--I think I have a piece from said class that could be published, and I'm optimistic that I could write something else worthy of publication, too. In the meantime, I'm focused on getting Josh's stuff out there--at least he has stuff!
6. Memorize the Bible verses I have underlined.
I am sadly behind on this one. Josh and I have a new Bible, though, which means it is relatively free from marking, which means I have new verses to discover and remember. I think that's exciting.
7. Get married carrying a bouquet of tulips.
Done June 17, 2006! Except the flowers were calla lilies, my new (and permanent) favorite.
8. Play "Piano Man" on the piano.
I wanted to do this because Carla told me I couldn't. I'll show her...someday :)
9. Learn the guitar.
Technically, I know one Russian song. And Josh has promised to teach me the rest.
10. Make pie as good as Gramma Beck.
This has to be a lifetime goal, because Gramma's pie is unbelievable. I think I have the guts of it down, but the crust is another story. I literally have to stop myself from swearing nearly every time I make it.
11. Eat at a four-star restaraunt.
I don't know if Nippon's is considered four star or not, but it may be the closest I've come. And it is fantastic.
12. Donate hair to Locks of Love.
I tried this once and got sick of my hair, so I caved and had it cut. But growing hair is quite easy, so I think someday I can do this.
13. Save $10,000 in my bank account.
Being married has definitely helped me come closer to this goal than I ever came on my own.
14. Get a professional massage.
Still a goal, and no matter when it happens--even if I'm 85--I know it will be great.
15. See all 50 states.
18 down, 32 ro go.
16. Climb a mountain.
I have techinically walked down a mountain, but I want to walk up, too. I know Pikes Peak has a path, so we'll see...
17. Earn my Masters degree.
Done as of May 12, 2007. YAY!!
18. Have good seats at a concert.
I'm not sure who I'd even want to see now, and I can't remember who I had in mind when I made this list. Perhaps if Sara Groves or Nickel Creek come around, I'll do this.
19. Paint on an oil canvas.
Bob Ross I am not, but I'd like to try it.
20. Sit on the first base line at a professional ballgame.
Addendum: When this happens, I will also eat bad-for-you ballpark food. I think a weiner is on my menu :)
21. Have a family.
I am part of a two-person, one-cat family right now, and I love it. But hopefully in the next couple of years, we'll add even more joy to it!
22. Make a discovery.
This was a rather vague goal, I must admit. Depending upon how you look at it, I have accomplished this and have yet to accomplish it. Most of what I've discovered won't impact the world as a whole, but perhaps that isn't the point of discovery at all.
23. Fill out my passport.
I'm not sure how important this is to me anymore. I'd love to see the world, but I am also content at home. So maybe I should change it to simply travel.
24. Cook a full course meal.
I have done this for Josh. Hopefully someday I'll do it for friends and family, too. We shall see!
25. Go back to the cabin.
I've wanted to do this since we left it the last time. I don't imagine I'll ever get to go back inside, but I think driving by it on a boat would satisfy my desire to see a place which held so many happy childhood memories for me.
26. Experience requited love.
Done, done, done, done. Addendum: Live another 74 years so we can celebrate our 75th anniversary.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Monday, May 21, 2007
Great news!
Friday morning, I got a job offer from Anderson, which I accepted without hesitation. My first day is two weeks from today, June 4th. In effect, this means I have a two-week vacation before starting--time to play wife, to relax, to write, to read, to do all those things I couldn't do in school. And then...a big girl job with big girl benefits and big girl pay.
Yay!
Yay!
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Update
This is me on Saturday. I officially earned a Masters of Arts in English and am a graduate of Northern Illinois University. In a day or so, I will receive my diploma in the mail to prove it. It's all over...yay!
On a related note, I got an A on my final graduate paper, and the final exam that I whined so incessantly about wasn't that big of a deal, after all. I did end up using some of our additional time, too--so much for my strongly worded laments about it existing in the first place :)
The whole family came up for graduation, and even though it was an exhausting weekend, I had a great time. Mario and Rita came up on Friday and I spent the afternoon with them until Josh got home from work, when we went out for supper and a quick shopping trip. Mom and Dad arrived later that night and stayed with us (Jeremy stayed with Rachel)--they also brought our wedding album--yay! Saturday was the ceremony; afterwards we came back Rockford, had lunch and came to our apartment for cake. Mom and Dad got me a music/jewelry box and Mom also gave me the ring that belonged to my great-aunt Mildred, who died in 1917 at the age of 2 1/2. It is tiny, tiny and has hearts around it. Josh got me an MP3 player, which I had fun playing with yesterday. Should liven up going to the gym a bit :) Mario and Rita left not long after that, and the rest of us scattered as well--Rachel and I took Mom shopping; Josh took a quick nap and sent out some queries; Jeremy and Dad mowed Rachel's lawn. We came together for supper and spent the rest of the night relaxing, and Sunday we went to church as a family to celebrate Mother's Day.
I think Mother's Day, like all holidays have this year, meant a little more to me because of how close we came to losing Mom. To look at her, you probably would never know she spent two and a half weeks in the ICU with a shunt draining fluid off her brain. You would never know that if Dad hadn't come home when he did she might have died at home, nor would you know about the hours he spent by her side, worrying and trying so hard not to let his worry show. You'd never know she still has headaches every day. But she was in the hospital. She could have died. Her hair has grown back, but she still hurts. But, by the grace of God, she is still here. I think that's pretty amazing.
On a somewhat related note (not to be morbid), Uncle Wendell, Grampa's younger brother, passed away Sunday night. I am sad because I loved him very much, because he was such a warm and loving man, because he always shared Thanksgiving and Christmas with us, and selfishly, because he was a piece of Grampa that remained after Grampa left us. They shared the same sense of humor and the same sparkling blue eyes. Grampa always called him "Babe" because he was the baby, and I can't help but think that when Uncle Wendell arrived in Heaven, Grampa said, "Babe! What took you so long? I've got so many things to show you..." I am sad for his family, too. I have been there, and it hurts so much. But I am thankful for the time they got to spend with him before he died, and I'm thankful for all the holidays I got to spend with him, and I'm so thankful he doesn't hurt anymore. His funeral is Friday, and I wish I could go.
But I want to end this on a positive note, so I am going to go to a subject now that seems so inconsequential in the face of death. But it is part of life. I went in for my second interview at Anderson yesterday, and I am hoping to hear by the end of the week whether or not I will be offered a position. I am fairly optimistic about it, and if not, I have a few other places to apply to today. Rachel is receiving her M.S. on Saturday, and we (all the family) are going to Chicago to see it. Jeremy is driving, thankfully. I have time to be myself again. I have books that are waiting to be read, and I don't have to worry about writing papers on them. Josh and I can take a walk any night of the week. Rachel lives down the road and we can hang out so much before she leaves for Africa. Winston woke me up with bo-jangles again this morning. I have so much to be thankful for.
On a related note, I got an A on my final graduate paper, and the final exam that I whined so incessantly about wasn't that big of a deal, after all. I did end up using some of our additional time, too--so much for my strongly worded laments about it existing in the first place :)
The whole family came up for graduation, and even though it was an exhausting weekend, I had a great time. Mario and Rita came up on Friday and I spent the afternoon with them until Josh got home from work, when we went out for supper and a quick shopping trip. Mom and Dad arrived later that night and stayed with us (Jeremy stayed with Rachel)--they also brought our wedding album--yay! Saturday was the ceremony; afterwards we came back Rockford, had lunch and came to our apartment for cake. Mom and Dad got me a music/jewelry box and Mom also gave me the ring that belonged to my great-aunt Mildred, who died in 1917 at the age of 2 1/2. It is tiny, tiny and has hearts around it. Josh got me an MP3 player, which I had fun playing with yesterday. Should liven up going to the gym a bit :) Mario and Rita left not long after that, and the rest of us scattered as well--Rachel and I took Mom shopping; Josh took a quick nap and sent out some queries; Jeremy and Dad mowed Rachel's lawn. We came together for supper and spent the rest of the night relaxing, and Sunday we went to church as a family to celebrate Mother's Day.
I think Mother's Day, like all holidays have this year, meant a little more to me because of how close we came to losing Mom. To look at her, you probably would never know she spent two and a half weeks in the ICU with a shunt draining fluid off her brain. You would never know that if Dad hadn't come home when he did she might have died at home, nor would you know about the hours he spent by her side, worrying and trying so hard not to let his worry show. You'd never know she still has headaches every day. But she was in the hospital. She could have died. Her hair has grown back, but she still hurts. But, by the grace of God, she is still here. I think that's pretty amazing.
On a somewhat related note (not to be morbid), Uncle Wendell, Grampa's younger brother, passed away Sunday night. I am sad because I loved him very much, because he was such a warm and loving man, because he always shared Thanksgiving and Christmas with us, and selfishly, because he was a piece of Grampa that remained after Grampa left us. They shared the same sense of humor and the same sparkling blue eyes. Grampa always called him "Babe" because he was the baby, and I can't help but think that when Uncle Wendell arrived in Heaven, Grampa said, "Babe! What took you so long? I've got so many things to show you..." I am sad for his family, too. I have been there, and it hurts so much. But I am thankful for the time they got to spend with him before he died, and I'm thankful for all the holidays I got to spend with him, and I'm so thankful he doesn't hurt anymore. His funeral is Friday, and I wish I could go.
But I want to end this on a positive note, so I am going to go to a subject now that seems so inconsequential in the face of death. But it is part of life. I went in for my second interview at Anderson yesterday, and I am hoping to hear by the end of the week whether or not I will be offered a position. I am fairly optimistic about it, and if not, I have a few other places to apply to today. Rachel is receiving her M.S. on Saturday, and we (all the family) are going to Chicago to see it. Jeremy is driving, thankfully. I have time to be myself again. I have books that are waiting to be read, and I don't have to worry about writing papers on them. Josh and I can take a walk any night of the week. Rachel lives down the road and we can hang out so much before she leaves for Africa. Winston woke me up with bo-jangles again this morning. I have so much to be thankful for.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
One last hoop
Today I have spent the majority of my morning reviewing notes for tomorrow's exam, and frankly, I'm sick of it. For the most part, I have really enjoyed the class: I have found the readings interesting (minus Pound and Ashberry), the class discussions have been well constructed and enlightening, and even the paper I wrote for last week wasn't too much of an undertaking. But now I'm reviewing probably 25 poems, in addition to several pages of notes I have constructed around the study guide, in an attempt say something relevant about whatever it is Dr. VW sees fit to ask. Ugh.
I hate that he's running it like comps. I've already taken comps once, and that was plenty. How can I be expected to cram a semester's worth of material in my head when I have so little direction on what to remember? Isn't it a little much to ask a student to make relevant connections without any texts to refer to--especially when the exam is centered on poetry (the details of which are much more difficult to remember than the plot of a novel)? Of course, we had to do that with comps, but we had three months to prepare first of all, and secondly, we weren't comparing poetry to poetry. And we knew which six poems to read!
I also hate that, because we've gone late so many times this semester, the "fix" is to give us more time to complete the exam. He said that this would not mean the exam will be more difficult, but if we have 45 minutes to revise our essays, I find that hard to believe. Especially since, when taking the four hour comp exams, three of those hours are to be dedicated to writing and one to revising. I finished writing my last essay with about five minutes left.
I hate that there wasn't a loophole for students who have a) already taken comps and b) do not plan to further their education. I've done it once, and I'm not going to do it again. So what's the point?
The point is, it's the last hoop I have to jump through before Saturday. I don't like it and I find it relatively useless, but it must be done. So I'm going to stop whining and get back to studying. Just don't expect me to be happy about it.
I hate that he's running it like comps. I've already taken comps once, and that was plenty. How can I be expected to cram a semester's worth of material in my head when I have so little direction on what to remember? Isn't it a little much to ask a student to make relevant connections without any texts to refer to--especially when the exam is centered on poetry (the details of which are much more difficult to remember than the plot of a novel)? Of course, we had to do that with comps, but we had three months to prepare first of all, and secondly, we weren't comparing poetry to poetry. And we knew which six poems to read!
I also hate that, because we've gone late so many times this semester, the "fix" is to give us more time to complete the exam. He said that this would not mean the exam will be more difficult, but if we have 45 minutes to revise our essays, I find that hard to believe. Especially since, when taking the four hour comp exams, three of those hours are to be dedicated to writing and one to revising. I finished writing my last essay with about five minutes left.
I hate that there wasn't a loophole for students who have a) already taken comps and b) do not plan to further their education. I've done it once, and I'm not going to do it again. So what's the point?
The point is, it's the last hoop I have to jump through before Saturday. I don't like it and I find it relatively useless, but it must be done. So I'm going to stop whining and get back to studying. Just don't expect me to be happy about it.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
A Quiet Interlude
Last Thursday I handed in my final graduate paper, an analysis of the gender tensions in Spoon River Anthology. This Thursday I will take my final final exam, for which I should be studying but am instead writing. Saturday, the door of school will close behind me, and I will walk out into a different world, and I do not know what it will hold.
What I do know, however, is that I am enjoying this quiet interlude between school and work. I have peace, and I have hope. I am assured that the decision to leave academia was the right one, and that, in making that decision, I won't be left without a future. I don't know what that future holds--I had to turn down a position at the Star because the hours were such that I never would have seen Josh, or anyone for that matter, and Anderson hasn't called back yet. I have sent out probably a half dozen or more cover letters without any response so far--but I have faith that I will hear from someone and, if it isn't Anderson, at least I had a dry run at interviewing.
But I am trying not to think about that too much. I will not be defined by my career; that was clear as soon as I gave up teaching. I have hope for a different kind of life.
And for now, I have peace. I have the sun shining. I have birds singing. I have a drowsy cat looking out the window. I have an email from my husband to read. I have studying to finish, and a diploma to claim.
For once, I am beautifully uncertain. And that's okay.
What I do know, however, is that I am enjoying this quiet interlude between school and work. I have peace, and I have hope. I am assured that the decision to leave academia was the right one, and that, in making that decision, I won't be left without a future. I don't know what that future holds--I had to turn down a position at the Star because the hours were such that I never would have seen Josh, or anyone for that matter, and Anderson hasn't called back yet. I have sent out probably a half dozen or more cover letters without any response so far--but I have faith that I will hear from someone and, if it isn't Anderson, at least I had a dry run at interviewing.
But I am trying not to think about that too much. I will not be defined by my career; that was clear as soon as I gave up teaching. I have hope for a different kind of life.
And for now, I have peace. I have the sun shining. I have birds singing. I have a drowsy cat looking out the window. I have an email from my husband to read. I have studying to finish, and a diploma to claim.
For once, I am beautifully uncertain. And that's okay.
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