This and That

I keep trying to think of a clever way to start this post, but since this is the way I am actually starting it, you'll see how unsuccessful that endeavor has been. I blame the fact that I've been up since 5:15. That would be 30-45 minutes before my alarm used to go off, before I decided to try the whole "working out in the morning" thing. Today was my first day, and I learned a couple of things: 1) God must be a morning-entity. In addition to enjoying a creamsicle colored sunrise,  I didn't need music because the birds were chittering so loudly. It was quite nice, actually. 2) 5:15 is freaking early. It isn't even 9:00 now and I am fantasizing about laying in bed with the unseasonably cool breeze coming through the window. (Full disclosure: I've been fantasizing since about 1:30 this afternoon...). Just one more reason to love coffee!

In other news, I am tired.

Did I already say that?

Right. Moving on.

This weekend, in an effort to continue saying Yes to the opportunities and adventures around us, we took the girls on a little roadtrip to Bloomington. Our first stop was to the zoo, which is a bit smaller than the Peoria zoo, but I was really impressed with the setup and the exhibits. The rain forest exhibit was particularly neat because it was housed in a temperature and humidity-controlled building, and all of the animals except for a few monkeys were allowed to roam around as they pleased. Interestingly, the difference in temperature in the building and outside of it was virtually nothing, since the humidity on Saturday was in the ballpark of 6000%.

The girls seemed to enjoy the animals, but their favorite part was the carousel. Was it fancy? Nope. Was it new? Not for at least 20 years. Did they think it was the best thing in the entire park? You betcha.

After we finished with the zoo, we went to have an ill-advised lunch at Applebees. The food was fine and our server was nice, but a certain 3 year old (I'm looking at you, Elysia) basically refused to eat any of her lunch, despite the fact that we ordered exactly what she asked for. Frustrating is a nice way encapsulate the experience. It didn't help that an older couple kept shooting us looks every time I leaned over and threatened encouraged Ellie to take a bite, any bite, just eat your food already before Mama completely loses it. And she wonders why I have grey in my hair...

Despite the exasperating experience of lunch, we continued on in our adventures and took the girls to the local ice rink, where open skating is available on Saturday afternoons. It was such fun. Elaina took to the experience a bit more cautiously, as is her nature, but once she discovered that slipping and falling doesn't have to be scary (especially when holding on to Mama or Daddy's hand) she skated with enthusiasm, and together we lapped the rink several times. Ellie loved it immediately, as is her nature, and didn't seem the least bit intimidated by slipping. Until she did, and hit her head (not hard--I was holding her hand--Mother of the Year right here). She was pretty much done after that and was content to watch her sister skate. Sadly, the ice rink didn't allow cameras on the ice, which I totally get--selfies on ice seems to be a surefire way to ensure someone's leaving in an ambulance--but all the same, it is a shame because teeny toddler and pre-school feet in ice skates? ADORABLE.

After our ice skating adventures, we came home and collapsed. Ellie was asleep by 7:30, evidence that she had a full day. (This somehow did not prevent her from traipsing into our room before 7:00 the next morning, crawling up next to me in bed, and repeating, "Now is it time to geddup, Mommy? Now? Now? Now?)

I am glad we went, and I had so much fun (minus the Applebees incident), and I think the girls did, too.

But right now, the most fun thing in the whole world sounds like going to bed.

Any chance 5:15 will come a little later tomorrow morning?

Exhale

Last week, in the midst of a brain-draining day at work, I looked at the calendar and had the sudden sinking feeling in my stomach that I had missed something important. And then I realized what it was.

Summer.

July is half over. The beautiful, warm days are already starting to fade a little faster--barely perceptible, but the darkness slips in a few minutes earlier every evening. The red raspberries, which we have been feasting on for weeks, are nearing the end of their bearing; the black raspberries shriveled to their end last week. I have had more conversations than I care to count about preparing Elaina for the beginning of preschool, which starts tomorrow in a month and a half. And last week, on a day where we broke the record for the "lowest high" (70 on July 15th), I donned my autumnal uniform of jeans and a fleece.

This is July?

I grabbed my day planner and started flipping through the pages, and then I saw where summer has gone. We have had something going on every single weekend since the middle of May. First came Brycelynn's birthday party, followed by the girls' first sleepover at my parents'. We took the next weekend "off" and went to the pool and had our first picnic. And it has been go, go, go ever since. Claud-Ellen days. Our anniversary getaway. Enchiladas with the family. An art festival at Luthy's botanical garden. Fireworks.  Friends over. Party prep. Ellie's 3rd birthday party.

We have had great experiences and made wonderful memories. The girls' lips have been stained with popsicles and their fingers sticky from s'mores. We have been to the river to collect shells, to McDonald's for a cold frappe, to the farmer's market where we came away with rhubarb and espisote plants and kettle corn and balloon animals. We have played in the pool. I have made black raspberry lemonade and a couple summer pies. Josh has grilled out more times than I can count. We have eaten plates of sweet corn and cherries and watermelon and pulled carrots and peas and tomatoes from our garden. The days have been full.

Summer is half over, and we have been so busy I feel like we've missed part of it. We haven't gone to the park enough. We didn't pick enough wild raspberries with the girls (though we have bags upon bags from our patch frozen). We haven't caught any lightening bugs. There is more than we could possibly do in a given summer, but I worry that we have gone so much that some of the fun of a random summer afternoon has evaporated like the morning dew.

And so, when I looked at my planner for this weekend, I smiled.

For the first weekend in weeks, we had absolutely nothing to do.

We went out for dinner on Friday night to a Chinese buffet--a first for our little family--where we all feasted on fruit and rice and sushi and, for Ellie, dill pickle spears. The girls slept in until 8:30 Saturday morning, which was glorious and practically unheard of. We relaxed in the morning. Josh and I sipped our coffee with no urgency, and we had an early lunch before heading to Costco and Target, where Josh treated me to an iced caramel macchiato. We visited our neighbors Hans and Jo, and then I took Ellie to the grocery store while Josh took Elaina shopping for my birthday. We ate kabobs and corn on the cob and charcoal-roasted potatoes for dinner, and Josh gave me my gifts. We made s'mores on the leftover coals and we let the girls stay up late to play on their playset. When they went to bed, Josh and I had margaritas and read and laughed and relaxed.

Today we went to church and the girls played in the pool in the afternoon. We had dinner at Famous Dave's with Mario and Rita for my birthday. The girls helped Josh trim his hair, and I froze green beans from our garden and from the farm.

And now it is after 10:00, and I have to get ready for another week, but somehow I feel more ready.

For the first time in a long time, I feel like I was able to let my breath out and soak in what's in front of me.

Summer.

And I still have half of it left.

To Ellie, on the eve of your 3rd birthday

Dear Ellie,

Right now, you are sleeping peacefully, tucked in next to Elaina with your stuffed tiger nearby.

Tomorrow, when you wake up, you will be 3.

With any luck, you'll come ambling into our room around 7:00, and you will crawl up next to me. You will make the chirpy little squeaks that tell us you are happy, and then, after a few minutes, you'll start wallowing around and asking, "Mommy, is it time to geddup yet? Now is it time to geddup? Now? Now? Now is it time to geddup?" I will ask you to cuddle for a few minutes, and you will, and then the questions will start again.

When we finally get up, you will ask for juice in your Elmo cup. It's one of those last little remnants of babyhood that you hold on to. Sometimes it drives me crazy, but I am finding that I am holding on to it, too. The chances that you are my last baby are pretty good, and I am in no hurry for you to grow up.

So you will have juice, and we will have cinnamon rolls, and you will ask to watch Max and Ruby while Daddy and I have coffee. Then it will be time to open your presents (Elaina desperately wants to help), and we will celebrate the wonderful little girl you are, and are becoming.

Your second year was full of change and firsts and adjustment. You started your second year still sleeping in your crib, having just abandoned napping. A little over a month later, you got scared of the dark. Nothing brought you peace until Elaina offered to share her bed with you. And that's where you've slept ever since. (You don't know this, but most nights she reaches for your hand so she can kiss it as she falls asleep.) You had your first sleepover, first with Gramma Rita, and then with Gramma and Pampah. You had your first flu, and your first visit to the emergency room. (It is still hard for me to look at the pictures I took of you that night. You were so, so sick.) You had your first haircut, your first picnic, and your first swim in a big pool.

You went through what your Daddy lovingly dubbed the "Age of Rage," and that was a bit tough on all of us. You taught us that all parenting tactics were not created equally, and that the approaches to discipline that had worked fairly flawlessly with Elaina wouldn't cut it with you. (It is easy to smile when I think about the many conversations that went something along these lines: Me: Ellie, do X or sit in timeout! You: Put me in timeout!" when at the time I just wanted to pull my hair out.) Thankfully, you are a bit more reasonable these days, and you are eager to please. Even when you want to be crabby, I can usually pull you out of it by asking for a kiss.

You have learned to use the potty (hallellujah, amen). You have learned to share with your sister, and it has been so much fun to watch the two of you become friends. You have learned your letters, and your vocabulary still amazes us sometimes. Just last week, when I asked Elaina what she wanted to drink with her dinner and she said milk, you said, "Oh, Ewayna, milk is bewry nutritious." You are not afraid to try new things--where Elaina is tentative, you jump in with both feet. You love eggs and avocado Minion Rush and the color green. You like puzzles and play doh and Max and Ruby and Dora the Explorer. You have perfected this wonderful little maniacal giggle when you are being ornery. You give the best kisses and hugs.

Sweet baby, you are sleeping now, and I am remembering this night three years ago when I was so anxious because you were coming the next day and everything would change. And it did. But only in the very best ways.

We love you, Elysia Jane. Happy 3rd birthday! May this year be as full of as much wonder and adventure as the last two have been.

Love,
Mommy

Ellie's 3rd Birthday Party

Ellie turns 3 on Tuesday.

How this is even remotely possible is beyond me.

Yesterday, we celebrated her birthday with a minion-themed party. She loves the Despicable Me movies and, if possible, the Minion Rush game on the ipad even more, so it seemed an appropriate theme.

The party started on a fantastic note because, about 45 minutes before everyone else got there, Mom and Dad and Gramma Beck came. Mom and Dad spent the last three weeks in Kenya, arriving home on Monday afternoon. We were all thrilled to see them, and the girls loved the bracelets and safari postcards they received. I was just happy to have them there. :)

When the rest of our guests arrived, we snacked on crock pot pulled pork sliders (pork loin, onion, apricot preserves, dijon mustard, and soy sauce), chocolate chip cookie dough dip (served with minion graham crackers), and chips, and then we watched the video I made of Ellie's third year. (I would love to post a link; however, Microsoft Movie Maker is a most infuriating programs and would not publish properly to Vimeo, despite the fact that I tried about 15 times to get it to work...). This year's songs were Pharrel's "Happy" from Despicable Me 2--Ellie calls it the Minion song--and "I Am" by David Crowder, because no video I make seems complete without a David Crowder song, and because the lyrics say, "I am holding on to you," which was so appropriate for the little girl who plies me with requests to "Hold me" every day.

She was much more excited than her expression suggests :)

After the video, it was time for games. I had been kind of nervous because it was supposed to rain, and two of our activities were planned around the fact that rain usually isn't an issue by this point in July. Thankfully, it rained just a bit in the morning and the sun had come out and dried things out in time for our festivities. And because we live in Illinois, we were blessed with 98% humidity, too.

We started with our very own Minion Rush obstacle course, which Josh designed, and it was a huge hit.

Emily

It was also hotter than Hades, so while the rest of us melted, Uncle Adam had the right idea...

Right over the vent with a view of the action :)

The point of Minion Rush, other than running the obstacles, was to get the piece necessary for the next game: the eye for Pin the Eye on the Minion.

My own little minion :)

Ellie with a little help from "Ms. Stephanie" and "Mr. Scott". Stephanie first become our friend when we visited the nursery she owns in town. She has loved our girls from the very beginning, and when we were between churches last summer, she invited us to hers. Her husband, Scott, teaches in Elaina's Sunday School class. They are, quite simply, beautiful people, and we are lucky to have them in our lives.

When the minion had been given sufficient sight, it was time for presents.

A minion (of course :-) ) from Gramma Rita and Papa

And then it was time for cake.

Thank you, Betty Crocker, for your fine instructions!

Checking out Daddy's work

Oh, my heart.

After cake, we went back outside to melt give the kids whacks at the minion pinata that Ms. Stephanie had so graciously donated to our party.

Birthday girl gets the first whack

Josh then blew up the pool, and the kids had a blast playing until, one by one, they had to leave. The rest of our evening was pretty quiet. We had a simple dinner, and Ellie got to open up her toys with a little help from Elaina. The girls went to bed, and Josh and I collapsed.

It was an exhausting, busy day. But it was worth every second.

Oasis

When Josh and I were first married, we lived in the upstairs of a brick oven duplex in the middle of Rockford.Our landlord, Mass, mowed the modest lawn every week or so, and there wasn't really room for a garden. Most of our time outdoors was spent taking walks around the neighborhood in the evenings. It was a respite from the stifling heat of upstairs (our time there remains the only time I can remember showering in cool water on a regular basis), a chance to have those lovely long talks that come in the beginning of marriage, and an escape from the consistent, loud, and resounding shouts our neighbor made for her son every night around 8:00. (We knew almost nothing of them, but we sure as heck knew the little boy next door was named 'BRAAAAAAAANDON!!!!) I loved our duplex, and the memories of our time there are so sweet, but I remember longing for the time when we'd have a yard we could escape to, instead of the cracked sidewalks and busy roads around us.

A couple years later, we moved to Peoria and rented a house from Josh's cousin. It was pretty tiny, and pretty outdated, but we made it work. It had a yard, at least, and a space in the back for a little garden. The yard was mostly clover and riddled with hidden holes, which made for some interesting mowing experiences. Our garden gave us some tomatoes and peppers, as well as some volunteer tomatillos, and so we spent more time outside. But we knew it wasn't forever, and we had also been blessed with yet another interesting neighbor. His name was Eric, and when he was sober, he was nice enough. When he wasn't sober, he'd sit out in his truck (not actually driving, mind you, because of that last D.U.I.), and blast metal, punctuated occasionally by a horn honk or string of expletives. One night, after about an hour of this nonsense, Josh called the police. Eric's response was pretty epic, even though he didn't know it had been us. Needless to say, we didn't spend a whole lot of time outside after that.

And now, the dream has finally been realized. We have woods on three sides, and across the street we have Hans and Jo, a retired couple from the Northeast who could not be sweeter if they tried. (Jo is constantly finding little treats for the girls and loves to tell them they are beyootiful.) And it's taken a lot of work, and a lot of time, and money and ideas and frustration and time and time and money and time and work and work and work, but our yard has finally become the oasis I dreamed about in our stuffy duplex and in our tiny home next door to a psychopath. I love to go outside and look at our flowers or see what's ready to be picked out of the garden. And the best part is, there's so much more work to do, and the ideas are still coming and there are new flowers to plant. And we're not going anywhere.

Here are some recent views around the my little oasis:

Running: One year later

A year ago this month, I put on my old pair of Nikes and went for a run.

For as long as I can remember, I have hated running. I hated feeling like I was breathing through a straw, all while looking like a fish out of water, gasping. I hated that my lungs burned, and my legs burned, and that for hours after I was done I would cough anytime I did something silly like laugh or talk or breath just slightly too deeply. Mostly, I hated that doing something to get in shape made me feel so woefully out of shape.

But last year, I hated how I felt about myself more than I hated running. I was carrying extra weight from having Ellie, which would have been a fine excuse if she hadn't been almost 2. I had expected the weight to fall off like it did with Elaina, so I never changed the way I ate or never exercised, minus a few halfhearted attempts at a Jillian Michaels dvd. Newsflash: doing nothing changes nothing. Who would have thought, right? I was tired of feeling fat. I was tired of being jealous of runners who seemed to effortlessly float down the street. And so I decided that since I hated running, that's exactly what I was going to do.

Tonight, I put on my new pair of Nikes and went for a run.

I was having a bit of a rough night. Mom and Dad and Rachel, Lips, and Nehemiah are on their way to Kenya, and they'll be gone almost a month. Mom called while we were having dinner, and we got to say goodbye to her and Dad, and then I spent the next hour trying rather unsuccessfully not to cry. It's not that I don't want them to go, I just don't want them to go. We had planned on going to the park after dinner to serve as a distraction, but when the girls misbehaved during dinner, that privilege was revoked and I was stuck at home feeling sorry for myself.

Josh suggested I go for a run. Two years ago, I would have laughed in his face.

But tonight, I changed into my running clothes (yes, Erika--the sheltie shirt made an appearance), strapped my phone on my arm, and David Crowder and I went for a run around our neighborhood.

It was humid and bright--perfect running weather. The music had a good beat, and I found my rhythm pretty quickly. I never once felt like I was going to die. I ran for almost a half hour, and when I came home, I felt better.

I don't hate running anymore. I probably still look like a fish gasping for air when I run. I'm not the fastest person out there, and I am so impressed with people who can run any length of race because I haven't worked up the confidence to try myself. I'm not great at it, but I'm not going to quit. And I think that's half the battle, anyway--just putting on my shoes and walking out the door.

(And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to stalking the Flight Aware website that is allowing me to follow my family's flight. One day down, only a bazillion more to go...)

Anniversary getaway

Tomorrow, Josh and I celebrate our 8th anniversary.

He is my best friend, and I can't imagine going through life with anyone else.

Yesterday and today, we had the chance to get away for our anniversary, for the first time in five years. After dropping the girls off with his mom, we drove to LaSalle-Peru and visited the local sights, including a store called Rural King (just as classy as you would imagine), Target (to get swimsuits for our hotel stay), and Steak and Shake for a nutritious, early lunch.

Then, we headed to Matthiessen State Park for an afternoon of hiking. The weather forecast had threatened storms and high winds, so I was nervous that we'd get there just in time for the deluge to begin. Luckily, the storms held off and we enjoyed dappled sunshine and the rustling of a cooling breeze high in the trees. Instead of stormy, the weather was absolutely perfect. And anytime we got close to too hot, we found ourselves having to (or choosing to) walk through the chilly water.

We hiked all afternoon, enjoying various waterfalls, cascades, and one or two unmarked trails. And we talked about where life is taking us, and where we want to go, and laughed over silly memories and how we kept losing our very sensible footwear (flipflops) in some of the muck of the streams. We hadn't been to Matthiessen in five years, but it was just as wonderful as we remembered, and we made many, many great memories this time as well.

After we finished our hike, we stopped for a quick snack and then headed to the Starved Rock Lodge. After checking in, we went back to the water--this time, the chlorinated kind--and spent an hour relaxing in the pool, hot tub, and sauna. Then it was time to get ready for dinner. We had reservations at Elements, which is the restaurant on site. Josh had a grilled porkchop with polenta and green beans, and I had polenta with butternut squash, rosemary, and sauteed mushrooms. It was deeeelish, especially after a long day of hiking.

Obligatory food shot

After dinner, we took a walk around the lodge grounds, and then had dessert and drinks. We finished just in time to watch a beautiful sunset. It was the perfect end to a perfect day.

This morning, we slept in (hallelujah, amen) and then, as part of our anniversary package, went back to Elements for breakfast. Though our legs were sore, we decided a little more hiking was in order, so after checking out we drove to the entrance for the Kaskaskia Falls and Ottawa Canyon, and then went to hike to  the Illinois Canyon as well. Today was a bit muggier and a bit buggier, but the views were just as beautiful, and of course, the company was just as nice.

After our adventures over the past two days, I have a few observations.

1. I will never say that Illinois lacks in natural beauty ever again. It's not that I ever actually believed it, but when you see the same river and the same farm fields every day, it can seem mundane. Sure, it may not be as obvious as, say, the Rocky Mountains, but finding looking a little harder to find it is so, so worth it.

2. Josh and I really enjoy hiking. I can't wait to explore that hobby more with him.

3. That being said, I am pretty sure tomorrow I will be thanking the Good Lord in Heaven that I have a desk job, because right now, any movement below my waist hurts.

4. Marrying Josh was the best decision I have ever made, and the past 8 years have been the best years of my life, and the past two days reminded me of just how lucky I am. I can't wait to see where the next 67 years take us.