Exit 2014

For as long as I can remember, I've hated the post-Christmas letdown. I was content to keep the tree up, the lights twinkling, and the empty stockings hung with care until the New Year, and even then everything was packed up with a melancholic sigh.

Today is December 30th. We finished our Christmas celebrations on the 27th, recovered the 28th, and almost everything came down last night. This morning Josh disassembled the tree and I packed up the jingle bell wreaths and the nativity hurricane lights and swept up the last bits of fake tree needles and tinsel and scraps of wrapping paper. The only things that remain are my snowmen, since they are less holiday-specific (and because Elaina insists that we have some sort of decoration out for every season).

Christmas was a magical season this year, especially since the girls are big enough to really, really enjoy it. They searched for Lyla, our elf, every day with unbridled enthusiasm, watched countless Christmas specials on tv, visited Santa, were awed by the lights, sang the songs...it was everything I could have asked for. I loved it. But for the first time I can remember, I was also ready for it to be over.

I think it was because I am ready for this year to be over, too. 2014 was...hard. For more reasons than I can articulate, for reasons very private and painful, in some small ways and in some very profound ways. In years past, I've done a more full recap, but I want to remember the good and the bad, so I'm modifying it a bit. Here's a look back at 2014:

Favorite memories

When the snow finally melted in June. I kid. Taking the girls bowling for the first time. Ice skating. Taking a slightly less-than-legal trail to find a beautiful waterfall on our anniversary trip. Getting lost with Josh while trying to find a lake near Macomb, and then playing a rousing game of mini golf after enjoying a surprisingly strong margarita at dinner. Experimenting with our new square foot garden. Surprising the girls with a trip to Grizzly Jack's. Taking the girls for a hike on the last nice day of autumn, and then spending the rest of the afternoon raking and jumping in leaves, clearing out the garden, and chasing Yuna away from the raspberry bushes. Dancing with Josh to Christmastime is Here and various Jamie Lidell songs. Watching the girls sing the Pentatonix version of White Winter Hymnal.

Least favorite memories

Ellie's trip to the emergency room. Losing Winston. Leaving Northwoods. Work drama. Taking down the crib the day before Elaina started preschool.

Biggest changes

Elaina started preschool. Josh was promoted into a highly stressful job, and he's doing great. We left Northwoods and have not immediately jumped into another "church relationship"(still trying to figure out what that will look like). We got a dog.

Favorite purchase

If you can call simplify her down to that term, Yuna. I had been looking for a dog for a couple months but hadn't been able to sell Josh on any of the ones I'd liked. Then one Saturday night, while he was watching a UFC, I clicked on the picture of a chocolate brown puppy with a white spot on her forehead. I showed him the picture, and he said, "I like that one." I filled out the application, and the next afternoon her foster mom brought her by--and less than 24 hours after we'd first seen her picture, Yuna was ours. She has been such a good addition to our family (though the cats may tell you otherwise)--more than worth her adoption fee.

For a non-living purchase, I'd have to say the playset or pool we bought for the girls, new makeup from Ulta, or my hot pink moccasins from Old Navy. Ooh, or the steam mop we got on Black Friday.

Reading list

1.   The Walking Dead Compendium 1

2.   Dark City (Repairman Jack) - F. Paul Wilson.

3.   Chasing God - Angie Smith

4.   Love, Greg & Lauren - Greg Manning

5.   Forrest Gump - Winston Groom

6.   Water for Elephants - Sarah Green

7.   Love Does - Bob Goff

8.   The Giver - Lois Lowry 

9.   Misquoting Jesus - Bart D. Ehrmund (important but devastating)

10. Jesus Interrupted - Bart D. Ehrmund

11. The Ghost Map

12. Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism - John Shelby Spong (see note for #9)

13.  The Memory Keeper's Daughter - Kim Edwards

14.  Speaking Christian - Marcus Borg

15.  Surprised by Motherhood - Lisa Jo Baker

16. Three Graves Full - Jamie Mason

17. Gathering Blue - Lois Lowry

18. Gone Girl - Gillian Flynn (wins the award for the book that most made me want it to chuck it across the room upon completion)

19. Messenger - Lois Lowry

20. Sleeping with the Devil

21. Dead Men Do Tell Tales - Dr. William R. Maples (sooo fascinating)

22. Faith of the Fallen - Terry Goodkind

23. I Still Remember You - Fannie Flagg

24. The Bible Tells Me So - Peter Enns

Favorite Music
"Happy" by Pharrel
"I Miss You" by Avril LaVigne (known as the Sad Pony song in our house)
"Shipoopi" from The Music Man
"Separate Ways" by Journey
"All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor
"White Winter Hymnal" by Pentatonix
Invisible Empires album by Sara Groves
All Sons and Daughters Live album
A Dotted Line album by Nickel Creek
Fleet Foxes self-titled album

Favorite pictures

Christmas 2014 Recap

Christmas this year was a wonderful blur.

The celebration started last Friday, when Josh and I walked out of work for the last time this year (glory, hallelujah) and continued the next night when the girls had a much-anticipated sleepover at Gramma and Papa's. Josh and I got some last-minute shopping done, went out for an actual sit-down dinner that didn't involve coloring crayons or play lands, and topped the evening off with our annual viewing of Bridget Jones' Diary and a dance to the piano version of "Christmastime Is Here".

The next evening, despite our better judgment, we took the girls for another annual tradition--the Festival of Lights in East Peoria. The girls had had a verrrrry late night at their sleepover, so we were already pushing their good graces by going at all--and then we got to the hill leading up to the festival park. And sat. And sat. And moved two feet, and sat some more. Just when I thought Josh's blood pressure might actually cause the vein in his forehead to explode, a car in the opposite lane motioned for him to roll down his window. The angel in the other lane quickly told us to drive to the top of the hill and turn around--there was no wait from the other direction. We sped away, and a few minutes later, we were in the park, oohing and ahhing at the displays.

On Monday, we took the girls to get their Christmas presents from my Aunt Naomi, who is one of my very favorite people on this whole earth. Because she couldn't be there to watch their experience, we videotaped as the girls learned their surprised, picked out their toys, and had them made. Elaina chose an Elsa bear, and Ellie chose a Pinkie Pie pony. It was a fun experience for them, and a good start to Christmas week.


On Tuesday, we had a creative day at home. We made "gingerbread" houses out of graham crackers, the cheapest white frosting Kroger sells, and leftover parade candy. (This was a nice dual parenting effort--Josh's engineering effort to construct the houses, and my fine unwrapping and directing for the decorating.) In the afternoon, I ran some errands and Josh put on a movie for the girls. Unfortunately, one of my stops included one for tylenol and ibuprofen for Elaina, who had developed a fever. (True to form, she was quiet, quiet, and wanted to lay on laps. Not usual for our high energy, always on the go girl.) With a little medicine, she was doing well enough after dinner to work on our cookies for Santa. This was a lot of fun, because while I rolled dough and the girls decided on shapes, Josh played random songs on YouTube for our entertainment. Ellie's taste in music more closely mirrors my own, since she was rocking out to OutKast's HeyYa!, much to her daddy's disappointment.

When we put the girls to bed, we gave Elaina another dose of medicine and hoped for the best, since we were supposed to see both of my grandmas on Christmas Eve.

But it was not to be.

She woke up at 4:00, crying that she couldn't find Girrafia. Her temperature was 101. She took her medicine and went back to bed, and I knew then that our travel plans were cancelled. She couldn't travel sick. Aunt Naomi has a weakened immune system and has been instructed to stay away from anyone with a fever. Both grammas were getting over illness. And my Uncle Rod had a lung transplant at the beginning of this year, and his health is still quite fragile. Still, I cried the next morning when I called Mom and Dad to let them know we had to stay home. I hated that she was sick, and I hated that we had to miss seeing Dad's side of the family.

To make the best of the day, we let the girls exchange their gifts to each other, watched Christmas movies most of the morning, and went to my in-laws for some Christmas Eve snacks. When we came home, the girls set out their cookies and milk for Santa, and when they were asleep I finished wrapping gifts while Josh and I watched It's a Wonderful Life, another of my favorite traditions.

If you don't think this is funny, I'm not sure we can be friends

Christmas morning got off to a great start. Elaina woke up with no fever (yay!!), and she and Ellie were both quite thrilled to see what Santa had left for them. Santa was pretty good to Mrs. Claus as well, and we had a nice, relaxing morning at home. We went back to my in-laws in the afternoon for more gift exchanges and a wonderful meal of enchiladas, rice, beans, and homemade salsa.  We scooted out not long after dinner to unload the car and get ready for traveling the next day.

Santa brings the best books...

...and the best Pinkalicious puzzles

Ellie and Papa

Elaina with her new hair salon

The next morning, after a quick breakfast and caffeination, we loaded up the car and the girls and the dog and headed to the farm, to spend a little time with Gramma Copes and Aunt Naomi and Uncle Todd. Mom and Dad came down, too, much to the thrill of their granddaughters. We had lunch and exchanged gifts and enjoyed the beautiful if unseasonable 55 degree weather. After, we headed on to visit Gramma Beck, where Ellie enjoyed her first piece of cherry pie.

As I took this selfie, Gramma said she couldn't believe the old woman looking back at her. I wish she could see how beautiful I think 91 looks on her.

4 generations

Where's Elaina??

Gramma Dorothy's cherry pie must be savored

We spent the night at Mom and Dad's, which was a lot of fun because Rachel, Lips, and Nehemiah were there, too. He's getting such a little personality. When the girls were taking a bath, they kept hollering for him, and he'd come charging around the corner in his little footie jammies yelling, "Wayna!!! I comin'!!!" When the kids were in bed, I made peanut butter fudge and hung out with Mom and Rachel while Josh and Lips watched some sort of documentary (snooze).

Bedtime story with Gramma Joy

The next morning, we relaxed and when Jeremy and his family arrived, more Christmasing ensued. So much fun to see the cousins playing together. And it was extra nice to spend the day with Jeremy, since it was his birthday. After presents were exchanged, we had lunch and before too long the rest of the family headed back down to the farm while we headed home.

Elaina was sooo excited to get a "Teacher Set" for Christmas. Thanks, Auntie Rachel!

Daddy opening one of his obligatory Bears gifts

Jeremy and Nikki made this out of wood from Grampa's barn, which blew down in a terrible storm five years ago. The wood is over 150 years old.

We got home around 5:00, unpacked a bit, and collapsed.

It was a wonderful, full Christmastime.

And I am thankful we don't go back to work until Friday :)

Elaina's first school program

In August, my baby got her first cubby.

Tonight, she had her first Christmas program.

She has been been looking forward to this night for nearly a year, since last December when we sat in the same sanctuary and tried to stave off her tears because Arcadia was in the program and she wasn't.

For weeks, she's asking how much longer til her program. For the past two or three, she has entertained us at supper with lively renditions of Five Little Reindeer and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and the Reindeer Pokey (sense a theme?). We bought her dress on a Christmas shopping trip, and she picked out red shoes to go with it. She told her teachers Gramma and Pampah were coming and was thrilled to learn she would be allowed to show them her room. Last night as we were preparing to say her prayers, she asked, "Mama, are you nervous for tomorrow?" And I said, "No, baby. I'm not nervous. I'm just so excited because I know you'll do great." And when Josh went in to sing a song and read a story, she asked, "Daddy, to you think I'll all the words?" He reassured her that she would.

Tonight was her night.

Gramma and Pampah were here when we got home. We had pizza for supper, and then she sat while I curled her hair and Mom and I got her dressed. We did the same for Ellie. When I dropped her off in her classroom, she twirled like a ballerina to show her teachers her lovely dress and her snappy shoes. When the program started, she walked in holding Mrs. Underwood's hand, which seemed so appropriate because she strives to be the teacher's pet. She spotted us and waved excitedly, and stopped to give Ellie a kiss.

Her performance was worthy of a Tony, as everyone in our row will attest. And thankfully, she was in the top row, so we were able to see her. When it was all over, we went downstairs and had cookies, and then she finally got to show Gramma and Pampah her classroom.

The whole night, all I could think of was the last line of Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes: "She blushed. She beamed. She bloomed."

Way to go, Lou-Lou. You were absolutely perfect.

She posed this way all by herself

Kissing Ellie's hand

Not emotive at all, that one.

A girl and her Pampah are not soon parted