Blue

Today is a blue day...

I began my morning by watching the latest developments concerning the VT shootings. News is important, and I watch it nearly every day, but today it is overwhelming. Too much sadness. Too much grief. Too much pain. Too many questions that can never be answered. Too much access to all of it. I have turned the television off. I don't even know if I will watch the evening news tonight.

I worked on my paper some and got discouraged, so I worked on a cover letter for another company who technically isn't even hiring now, though I was encouraged to send a cover letter and resume anyway. Anderson hasn't called yet. The only other offers I am recieving are for sales positions. On the up-and-down job market search, today is a down day.

Because he had to work through to make it to a dentist appointment this afternoon, Josh couldn't call during lunch. At least, I didn't think he could. I checked my email and he didn't write. I checked my phone and had missed his call. Which is appropriate, because I miss him. I don't care if that sounds pathetic. He will be home late again and today is a long day without his company and love.

Grampa died three years ago this week. I miss him, too.

So here are things to be thankful for, to turn my blue around:
1. The sun is shining.
2. I am healthy. My family is healthy. Josh's family, for the most part, is healthy, and even those who aren't are doing better.
3. Winston woke me up with bo-jangles this morning.
4. I still have a month-ish to find a job.
5. Our washer and dryer work.
6. Josh has a job, and even though I only go twice a week and get paid minimally, right now, so do I.
7. Grampa is in heaven.
8. God has carried me through nearly two and a half years of graduate studies, and soon, He will set my feet down on the stage to recieve my diploma.
9. God carried me through comps, and I passed.
10. God has always carried me.
11. Ten months ago today, I married my best friend.
12. Someone helped me at the gym yesterday without making me feel like an idiot.
13. Despite its touchiness in second gear and the fact it now lacks a radio, the truck still runs.
14. My paper is due in two weeks. This means, in two weeks, I will be all but a test away from finishing my master's.
15. I am not going back to school next year. I may not go back, ever. And that is okay.
16. Josh and I get to see his family this weekend. Mario is grilling Saturday, and we are cooking lunch for Rita on Sunday.
17. Since we are going to Peoria, there is a chance we'll visit Grand View Drive.
18. Gramma and I get to talk at 5:30 every evening. I still think that's pretty cool.
19. This list doesn't even begin to enumerate all I have to be thankful for.

There. That helped.