On the way home today, Josh and I were talking about our work environment in Rockford. We talked about the demands of our respective positions--ridiculous timelines, customer pressure, internal practices. While I'm thankful I had a job while we lived in Rockford, and while I appreciate the work experience it provided, I do not miss the stress, the pounding headaches I developed almost every morning between 9 and 10, or the grey hairs I used to find every morning in the mirror (this sounds silly, but I honestly think they went away when I moved...).
Our discussion made me realize two things. One, I am so glad to be out of that environment. This isn't to suggest that my new job doesn't come with stress of its own, but I consider it "reasonable" stress, like trying to wrap my mind around everything we do, since it will impact my work, which is not to be confused with "unreasonable" stress, like trying to meet deadlines in 24 hours when usually I was promised two weeks, back to back to back to back to back. I haven't had a single stress headache since I started, and I haven't had to bang my head on my desk once. (This was usual practice at my old job.)
Second, all of that stress I experienced in Rockford wasn't without its benefits. Going through it made me realize that, to an extent, I don't have to go through it. I put pressure on myself to pull off miracles, but when I realized that, unless you're Jesus, miracles don't happen just because you want them to, it was a relief. All I could do was my best. I didn't give less than that, but I realized that I couldn't give more, either. That attitude served me well as I wrapped up my time in Rockford, and it's served me well thus far in my new job. The nice thing is that here, for a change, doing my best is all that is asked of me.
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